About Me: (since It won't it in the profile.)

Born and raised in the Hampton Roads area. I used to travel up and down the east coast running sound/lights for concerts and conferences. Ever since I can remember, I have been active in ministry and God has been the center of my life.  Without Him, I would be nothing.  He has sustained me through life and given me strength to overcome many of life’s obstacles.  People who know me the best know my heart and my desires to help others any way I can.  You could say that most of the time I become that listening ear, or the giver of Godly advice.  I treat my close friends as if they are family.  Growing up I was an only child so I have made many lasting relationship with people I consider brothers and sisters and not just friends.  I enjoy laughing and even crying with them when needed.  All my friends know they can call on me whenever they need someone to talk to and I don’t get upset.  To me, relationships mean more than anything I own.  Every day I pray for my wife (whoever she may be) that God would protect her and keep her pure.  One day, I hope to meet the woman of my dreams and spend the rest of my life taking care of her and giving her the best life she could hope for.  I look forward to the many memories that we can share together with each other and our family.

 
Let me leave you with something to ponder...
Are you going to change the world, or are you going to let the world change you?

(In case you couldn't tell God, friends, and family are important to me. )

• Memory was something that you lost with age.
• An application was for employment.
• A program was a TV show.
• A cursor used profanity.
• A Keyboard was a piano!
• A web was a spider's home.
• A virus was the flu!
• A CD was a bank account
• A hard drive was a long trip on the road.
• A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

Ok I am much happier now. The rain is gone and the sun has decided to
warm things up a bit. To top things off I am sitting here typing this
while sitting at a Mexican restraunt. Isn't life great.  Gotta
love technology and Mexican food.

Ok, I'm kinda board at work right now, so I figured I would try
something different and possibly fun.  Here's the deal, I'm going
to start the story off with one sentance. The next person who comes
along gets to make up the next sentance of the story and so on. 
Hopefully by the time this is all said and done we can have something
extremly funny to look back at and read.  So keep checking this
post often and post as many comments as possible.  So here we go,
I hope this doesn't flop.  And we have to start it out like a
typical Disney Story, and yeah KEEP IT CLEAN!!!!

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Sam who lived in a town like no other.

Today is one of those days you don't really feel like
climbing out of the bed.  I love rainy days, but I don't like driving to
work in them.  You know, traffic isn't bad enough on normal days; the rain
has everyone on edge which makes it so much worse.  What I can’t stand more than anything is when
traffic flowing east bound (the way I’m going), stops because there is an
accident going west bound.  Do we really
have to stop to see what’s happening on the other side of the road?  Heaven forbid if there is a state trooper who
has someone pulled over and is standing outside of his car talking to the
person he pulled.  Why must everyone slow
down and go LESS than the speed limit? 
Ok, that’s enough complaining of the traffic for today. 

Ok have I ever mentioned that I HATE spam?  I personally think
they should fine these comanies $1,000 for every piece of spam they
send out.  Ok check this out and I'm not lying one bit when I say
this, but I have an e-mail account I haven't checked since
February.  Normally this wouldn't be a bad thing but this is...
just how should I say it!!!  THERE ARE 60,264 e-mails sitting in my mailbox that needs to be deleted.  I know what I'll be doing for the next few days. 

For those of you looking at the picture, there are 3,014 pages of e-mails.

Ok
this is a lot of pointless trivia.  Anything surrounded by ( ) is
my pointless sarcasim.  I know some of you (Doug) have something
to say about these wierd tidbits of infomation.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.
(It must be nice.)

All Polar bears are left-handed.
(Good thing to know incase I get chased by one.  I have been chased by a black bear)

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each
salad served in first-class.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches
2 to 6 years of age.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(I also heard it kills brain cells.  Imagine a new weight loss plan involving banging your head 30 times a day.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(With the stuff I have stepped in I'm glad I don't.)

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.
(Someone must be board.)

China has more English speakers than the United States.
(Thats because they are like bunnies over there.)

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
(Wow, porn can be seen but not Donald Duck, that makes sense.)

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood
donors.
(Who knew.)

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
(Maybe they just haven't scared them enough.)

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
(Never knew you could get fat from licking stamps.  I guess it
would take a lot of them but hey someone should sue the postal system
for making stamps with caleries.  They should have the fat free
version.)

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(How do they know that for sure?)

I am. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand
seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's
neck.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would
never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to
create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Not to mention you wouldn't have any friends.)

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
(What happens if you keep him in a Nuclear Powerplant?  Does he begin to glow in the dark?)

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Way to much work for a cup of coffee, you could fart for a shorter
time and create and atomic bomb.  Why spend almost 9 years to heat
a cup of coffee?)

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including
their eyebrows and eyelashes.
(Ok EVERY hair?  Can you say ouch!!!)

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
(That's just wierd,  I have tried so many times to keep my eyes open and it doesn't work.)

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
(Had??)

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.
(Thats why the stupid shoes cost so much!!!!)

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month.
(There are some board people out there to figure this out.)

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
(Who tried this one?)

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in
the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition.
(Cotton growers? Maybe the tobacco growers.)

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing.
(I bet that one persont hat lives to be 116 wished their nose and ears stopped growing.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people do.
(Look like I'm going to outlive you left-ies)

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(And someone watched and counted?  Sick people)

Starfish haven't got brains.
(Interesting)

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(Who has gotten an ant drunk?  I always knew people did stupid
things when they get drunk.  I really hope this wasn't something
our government spent billions on to figure out.)

The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
(If that doesn't freak out the people who are scared of them.)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of
diesel that it burns.
(Thats why cruise liners are so big.)

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
(Yeah something about water and electricity that doesn't quite mix.)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(This is something I gotta see.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(OUCH!!!  I'm glad I'm not a praying mantis.  Seriously, I
have waited this long and when I meet that special someone and get married well... )

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
(Wierd)

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
(Man people are board.)

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
(hmm...)

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is
necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had
segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
(I wonder if the women still have long lines at the Pentagon.)

The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter
in the English language.
(That does not impress me one bit.)

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.
Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(I'd like to see what those body builders could lift with their
tongue.  Maybe it can be a new olympic sport "Tongue Curling.")

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the
word you want.
(And people can remember that word?)

The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right
or right to left.
(So are wow and mom.)

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
(This just sounds bad.)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one
row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
(I'll have to look into this one.)

You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous
spider.
(People have been killed by Champagne corks???  I don't know why but I find that funny.)

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
(And someone has tried this?  It makes sense, as you would pass out before you killed yourself.)

You share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world.
(And over half of those are in China.)

I am so ready for some snow!!  I love curling up on the couch,
watching the beautiful snow fall outside the window, sitting near the
warmth of the fireplace sipping some hot chocolate, and reading a good
book .  Now those are some good times..  All these talks
about the beautiful fall season has gotten me in the mood for some
winter already.